Conservative schizophrenia 

If you listen to the Republican crazies, the government is going to take over, they're going to wipe their asses with the Constitution, and aliens are going to invade Earth and take away our children.

What kind of mental disease does that remind you of? Right, paranoid schizophrenia! And so, in our own inimitable way, we turned that into a bumper sticker...yours for less than a fiver at LEFT.